Captain Awesome vs. Nacho Cheese Man
“By the super MI-TEE force of Captain Awesome and the canned cheese power of Nacho Cheese Man, I call this Sunnyview Superhero Squad tree house sleepover meeting to order.”
Eugene McGillicudy banged a wooden spoon against an empty shoebox. The Sunnyview Superhero Squad meeting had begun.
Sunnyview? Superhero? Squad?
That’s right! Eugene and his best friend Charlie Thomas Jones were not just ordinary students at Sunnyview Elementary. They also had super secret superhero identities. Eugene was Captain Awesome and Charlie was Nacho Cheese Man.
Together, along with Captain Awesome’s hamster sidekick (and the class pet), Turbo, they formed the Sunnyview Superhero Squad to protect the universe from bad guys.
“Hurry up,” Charlie said. “The brownies are waiting!”
Brownies! Yum! The perfect superhero snack! thought Eugene. Evil doesn’t stand a chance against chocolate fudge.
The first thing to do was to thank Eugene’s mom, Betsy, for the homemade brownies and milk that she brought to the tree house. The next order of business was to eat them!
“Thanks, Mom,” Eugene said, his mouth stuffed full of brownie.
“Thmph, Mmphs Mmmklldph,” Charlie mumbled, trying not to dribble any on his Super Dude T-shirt.
“You’re welcome, Charlie . . . I think,” Eugene’s mom said. Having delivered her sweet superhero treats, she climbed back down the ladder.
She knew that when it came to saving the world from the bad guys, it was always best for moms and dads to leave it to the experts: Captain Awesome and Nacho Cheese Man!
The Sunnyview Superhero Squad had one mission: to stop the evily spread of evil in Sunnyview. Their one mission, however, had three parts.
1. Be alert to evil.
2. Find evil.
3. Stop evil from eviling.
“I think we should add part number four: Eat more brownies!” Charlie quickly stuffed another brownie into his mouth.
“All those in favor of our mission—”
Charlie raised his hand. “Ambd meefing mrr mrownees?”
“Yes, Nacho Cheese Man. Including ‘Eat more brownies,’” Eugene replied. “Those in favor, say the super word of the day!”
“MI-TEE!” Eugene and Charlie said at the same time. Even Turbo let out a little squeak.
Eugene banged the wooden spoon against the shoe box again. THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! It was time for the Squad’s main non–evil-stopping activity (besides eating more brownies): reading the latest issue of Super Dude!
“Issue number four hundred twenty-nine!” Charlie cheered.
“Only the greatest thing since issue number four hundred twenty-eight!” Eugene declared.
Each member of the Sunnyview Superhero Squad . . . Wait. What’s that you say? You’ve never heard of Super Dude? You’re not a member of FsssDsss, the Friends of Super Dude Society, like Eugene and Charlie? You don’t know about his TV show, toys, games, action figures, and more? Where do you live? The Moon?!
Super Dude is only the most
amazing superhero of all time. Just listen!
Eugene opened the comic. “Page one: Super Dude’s archnemesis Trash Can’t was back in Super City. ‘I’m ready to crush Super Dude and trash his inner dudeness.’”
“Whoa. This is going to be the greatest issue ever!” Eugene could barely wait to turn the page!
And it was! Just when it looked like Super Dude would lose for sure and Trash Can’t would litter his evil garbageness across the world,
Super Dude punched Trash Can’t right in the recycling bin and dumped him on the curb in time for trash day.
Eugene turned the last page and closed the comic. He and Charlie sat in silence.
“That was the greatest thing I’ve ever read,” Eugene finally said with a sigh, still in awe. “This is, without a doubt, my most favorite comic book . . . ever! No. Make that double-ever!”
“Whoa. The only thing I’ve ever double-evered was peanut-butter-fudge
nachos with marshmallows. You know, the tiny ones?” Charlie said.
With the latest awesome issue of Super Dude completed, Eugene rubbed Turbo’s furry head. “Good night, buddy.”
“Good night, Turbo,” Charlie said and clicked off his flashlight.
Soon both heroes were fast asleep and the tree house was filled with the squeak of Turbo’s exercise wheel as it spun round and round.
Then there was a BUMP! Eugene opened one sleepy eye.
That’s probably nothing.
Then he heard it again. THUMP! His other eye snapped open.
That’s something. My Captain Awesome Danger Sense is tingling!
Something was in the yard. Eugene sat up in his sleeping bag and listened. RATTLE!
Could it be?!
“GRRRRR! ROWL! SNARL!”
Yes, it was! His old furry enemy Mr. Drools had returned! Mr. Drools was the hairy four-legged monster from the Howling Paw Nebula whose drooly jaws loved to chomp everything Eugene held most dear.
And worse, his evil Drool House was right next door to Eugene’s home. Mr. Drools had turned the once normal house into his own “barkyard.”
He’s stolen three Frisbees, popped my soccer ball, eaten the cover off my baseball, and ripped up my kite like an old sock! What’s he after this time?! Eugene wondered. Then he realized something awful. . . . NOOOOOOOOO! NOT MY SUPER DUDE ISSUE No. 429!?
Eugene jumped up without unzipping his sleeping bag. He hopped like the rare hopping caterpillars of Mothonia in Super Dude No. 97. He hopped on his flashlight, lost his balance, and fell to the wooden floor.
Eugene crawled from his sleeping bag.
“Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!”
Since superheroes can do anything, Eugene quickly pulled out the splinter. He felt around for his flashlight and clicked it on.
This was a nighttime job for Captain Awesome and Nacho Cheese Man!
“Wake up!” he whispered to Charlie. “Mr. Drools is in his barkyard next door!”